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Mastered Anthology Review: Working Out by Marie Harte (DNF)

Mastered: 10 Tales of Sensual Surrender

An ex-Marine with a kink for dominance, Mac is Maggie’s boss. But Maggie doesn’t seem to realize he’s in charge…until he shows her that Sir is more than a title. It’s a lifestyle that could suit them both. That’s if Maggie sticks around long enough to wear his collar.

 
 
I started reading Mastered: 10 Tales of Sensual Surrender to help break up the other two anthologies I’m reading right now. Yeah, I’m neck deep in anthologies. O_O

Working Out is the first book I decided to read in this anthology…simply because I split the book up and it was the first one I chose.

Everything was fine for the first 20+ pages…and then I got to a kicker: the hero, Mac, really likes the heroine, Maggie, but she won’t give him the time of day. So he begs her best friend (who is dating his best friend) to help him out. Guess how she does this? She lets the jackass into Maggie’s apartment without her knowledge…to allow him to be there when Maggie gets home from work. WHAT IN THE FUCK?? What kind of friend would do shit like that??! The following few pages has him wandering around Maggie’s house and poking in her fridge. Not gonna lie…that turned me off big time. My immediate reaction to this was to DNF the rest of the book.
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DNF Review: I Didn’t Ask to Be Born: (But I’m Glad I Was) by Bill Cosby

I Didn't Ask to Be Born

In this hilarious collection of observations, Cosby brings us more of his wonderful and wacky insights into the human condition that are sure to become classics. In the tradition of Fat Albert, I DIDN’T ASK TO BE BORN offers a host of new characters, including Peanut Armhouse and Old Mother Harold. Not since Mushmouth, Dumb Donald, Bucky and the Cosby Kids has there been such a memorable cast.

Over the past century few entertainers have achieved the legendary status of William H. Cosby Jr. His success spans five decades and virtually all media-remarkable accomplishments for a kid who emerged from humble beginnings in a Philly housing project.

In the tradition of his bestselling books, Fatherhood and Cosbyology, the doctor of comedy holds forth on everything from first love to the Bible. Bill Cosby may not have asked to be born, but we’re sure glad he was.

 

 

I grew up with Bill Cosby. From Fat Albert and the Cosby Kids to Picture Pages to The Cosby Show (and it’s spin-offs and revamps) are all a part of my life’s experience. I listened to his songs, I watched his stand up…I am partially a product of Bill Cosby’s influence.

So when I saw this book at the library… YONK! I grabbed.
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DNF Review: Steelheart (Reckoners #1) by Brandon Sanderson

Steelheart

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There are no heroes.

Ten years ago, Calamity came. It was a burst in the sky that gave ordinary men and women extraordinary powers. The awed public started calling them Epics.

But Epics are no friend of man. With incredible gifts came the desire to rule. And to rule man you must crush his wills.

Nobody fights the Epics… nobody but the Reckoners. A shadowy group of ordinary humans, they spend their lives studying Epics, finding their weaknesses, and then assassinating them.

And David wants in. He wants Steelheart—the Epic who is said to be invincible. The Epic who killed David’s father. For years, like the Reckoners, David’s been studying, and planning—and he has something they need. Not an object, but an experience.

He’s seen Steelheart bleed. And he wants revenge.

I was bored. I found the book well written and equally as easy to put down. I tried my best to push my way through – even though I was constantly annoyed by the worldbuilding – at least 100 pages.

I was beyond irritated by the idea of the city and it’s people living in darkness for 10 years. WTF?? WHY? How is that even remotely possible? How would people live? How would they keep their teeth?? Continue reading

Mini- Review: Crazy Sexy Diet by Kris Carr

Crazy Sexy Diet

On the heels of Kris Carr’s best-selling cancer survival guidebooks and her acclaimed TLC documentary comes her new journey into a realm vital to anyone’s health. Infused with her signature sass, wit and advice-from-the-trenches style, Crazy Sexy Diet is a beautifully illustrated resource that puts you on the fast track to vibrant health, happiness and a great ass!

Along with help from her posse of experts, Carr lays out the fundamentals of her Crazy Sexy Diet: a low-glycemic, vegetarian program that emphasizes balancing the pH of the body with lush whole and raw foods, nourishing organic green drinks, and scrumptious smoothies. Plus, she shares the steps of her own twenty-one-day cleanse, and simple but delectable sample recipes.

In ten chapters with titles such as, “pHabulous,” “Coffee, Cupcakes and Cocktails,” “Make Juice Not War,” and “God-Pod Glow,” Carr empowers readers to move from a state of constant bodily damage control to one of renewal and repair. In addition to debunking common diet myths and sharing vital tips on detoxifying our bodies and psyches—advice that draws both on her personal experience as a cancer survivor and that of experts—she provides helpful hints on natural personal care, how to stretch a dollar, navigate the grocery store, eating well on the run, and working through the inevitable pangs and cravings for your old not-so-healthy life.

Crazy Sexy Diet is a must for anyone who seeks to be a confident and sexy wellness warrior.

Crazy Sexy tips for optimal health:
Flood your body with alkaline nutrients * Flush stored waste products and chemicals * Reduce or eliminate animal products * *Dump sugar, you’re sweet enough * Go gluten-free *Shake your booty * Wrangle the monkeys in your mind and turn down the stress * Install healthy boundaries so you don’t burn out * Kill your television and Detox your In Box (Facebook too!) * Take fun seriously * Build a wellness posse support system *Be a “prevention is hot” cheerleader!

I’m constantly working on me. My lifestyle, my exercise habits, my diet.

I picked up Crazy Sexy Diet from my library. I was looking for a book (with recipes and meal plans) that I could use to adjust my diet.

I am not rating this book because I was expecting something different and I stopped reading it once I realized it was not what I wanted.

My Expectations:
A book that discussed the importance of whole foods with an emphasis on vegetables.
Balanced meal plans and recipes that contained vegetables as well as protein.
21 Day Juice Cleanse

What I got:
A book that discussed the importance of becoming a Vegan (preferred) or vegetarian.
A book with very few recipes and (from what I saw) no meal plans.
A lot of discussion about pH balancing the body.
21 Day Juice Cleanse

While I was not exactly excited about this book once I realized it wasn’t what I expected, I still planned to read it in its entirety. But I didn’t. I stopped somewhere after chapter two.

Why?
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Rock Chick Renegade (Rock Chick #4) by Kristen Ashley *spoilers!*

Rock chick renagade

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Jules has got a score to settle against the drug dealers of Denver. Vance has made it his mission that Jules won’t get dead while dishing out vigilante justice. Jules doesn’t have time for romance, she’s too busy saving the world and she enlists Zip (the gunstore owner), Heavy (an ex-PI) and Frank (a mysterious recluse) to help.

The Rock Chicks of Fortnum’s Bookstore get involved to provide romantic advice and guidance, none of which Jules accepts at first. The Hot Bunch of Nightingale Investigations adopt Jules as one of their own. Even though Jules tries to hang on to her inner Head Crackin’ Mamma Jamma, the Rock Chicks; Hot Bunch; Jules’s long-suffering Uncle Nick; Jules’s friend the rotund, African-American, Jackie-O wannabe, May; and especially Vance will stop at nothing to wear her down.

But Jules makes some bad guys pretty angry and one is dedicated to taking her out. Vance and the Hot Bunch have to pull out all the stops to keep her alive. At the same time, Jules and Vance learn the true meaning of home but once they find this precious entity they’ve been searching for all their lives, will Jules’s enemies tear it away?

NOTE: I read about 70% of this book before the RAGE took over and I had to quit. Then (crack being what it is) I skimmed the rest of the book. I would still consider this a DNF.

I can’t say I haven’t been entertained by reading Kristin Ashley books. I’ve had the shit entertained out of me…but this is NOT a writer that I would let a young girl read. Kristen Ashley books seems to glorify having a strange man walk into a woman’s life and tell her what to do. In a very stalker-like abuser-like way.
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Until The Dawn (Nemesis #1) by Desiree Holt & Cerise DeLand

until the dawn

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Madison Sommers is sure she has the world in her hands-a great job working for the Speaker of the U.S. House of Representatives, a beautiful townhouse in Georgetown, her ambassador father finally at home rather than at the other end of the world. And in Dan Foreman, a lover she adores. The sex is beyond anything she could have imagined, for Dan knows how to use every part of his body, including his talented hands and mouth, to give her screaming orgasms. She wonders if life could possibly get any better.

Then Dan disappears and her world turns upside down-until he reappears in the dark to addle her brain with the hottest sex she’s ever known and a secret that could bring down the country.

This book seems to suffer from WTFitis.

I DNF’d (most of) this book at about 50% because I simply could not torture myself a single sentence longer.

I should have DNF’d this book during the opening chapter. The author spent quite a few paragraphs saying that Maddie (the heroine) was an Ice Queen workaholic…but the reader never sees this side of Maddie. Instead Dan (hero) walks up to her, grabs her hand and pulls her into a staircase of a very public building for some hot sex action. Hi, Dan! Nice to meet you. Great introduction, by the way.

So even though the reader is told “Maddie doesn’t have sex with co-workers” and “Maddie is a workaholic” and “Maddie is an Ice Queen” what we see is Maddie boinking her co-worker of less than a month like a rabbit desperate to have bunnies.
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The War of the Flowers by Tad Williams

war of the flowers

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Returning to the fantasy genre that made him a coast-to-coast best-selling phenomenon, Tad Williams has written a new stand-alone contemporary novel set in Northern California-and also in the strange parallel world that coexists in the farthest reaches of the imagination.

Theo Vilmos is a thirty-year-old lead singer in a not terribly successful rock band. Once, he had enormous, almost magical, charisma both onstage and off-but now, life has taken its toll on Theo. Hitting an all-time low, he seeks refuge in a isolated cabin in the woods-and reads an odd memoir written by a dead relative who believed he had visited the magical world of Faerie. And before Theo can disregard the account as the writings of a madman, he, too, is drawn to a place beyond his wildest dreams…a place filled with be, and has always been, his destiny.

This book.

This book should be called “Depression in 5 easy steps.”

It starts with our hero. 30 y/o Theo who sings in a garage band with high school students.

It progresses to his girlfriend having a horrible bloody miscarriage while he’s out playing around with said teenagers.

Moving on from there, his girlfriend dumps him and kicks him out (agreed) and then 30 y/o Theo moves in with mom.

Depressed yet? No? Don’t worry, I have more.

Turns out Mom has cancer…and she dies after a few months.

So Theo then sells mom’s house…to a couple who get brutally murdered inside that same house within the month.

Guess what page we’re on? 88.Yeah, there’s no way I want to read more of this. But Carol has a wonderful review of what else depressing and asshole-ly actions Theo gets up to here: http://www.goodreads.com/review/show/161167442