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Review: Brianna (Celestial Passions #1) by Judy Mays *spoilers*

brianna

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Brianna did what any other decent human being would do-rescue a pair of aliens her boss was about to dissect, and get them back to their space ship. In the process, she was captured by an alien scientist and became a experiment herself-a sexual experiment.

Captain Alalakan don al’ Chardadon was not about to let Dr. Rodak don al’ Bakom conduct his ridiculous sexual experiments on an inhabitant from a newly discovered world. Even if it meant he had to marry the Earth woman to protect her. Marriages were easily dissolved on his planet, and this alien was very beautiful. Besides, he wanted her-in his bed, on the floor, against the wall, or anywhere else he could think of.

Brianna had to choose-marry the captain or try to find another way to escape Bakom. Easy choice. Even though he was an alien, Char was the most desirable man she’d ever met.

So, Brianna finds herself hurtling through space married to a very sexy alien-with a very flexible tail-from a planet where hedonism is the norm and there are three sexes: male, female, and hermaphrodite.

But Bakom wanted Brianna too, and is willing to do anything to get her back.

Have you ever read a Romance novel and thought to yourself, this is the most ridiculous cliched bullshit I’ve ever read? How did this get published?? I’m obviously in the wrong business…

Well, this is almost that book. But it’s not. Because this book is a cliched ridiculous mess on purpose (which makes it funny). This book has it all: beautiful red-haired “spitfire” heroine (with green eyes, of course); handsome and rich hero; being kidnapped by aliens for weird alien sex; princesses; cat people; assassins….

Well, you get the point. It’s like…everything is here. There is no way this wasn’t written tongue in cheek. How does Brianna communicate with these people from a different galaxy? They use a Medirian ghena instead of a Babel fish…but it’s the same thing and performs the same function. There are also several hints in the book that shows that Mays is writing a comedy.
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Old Skool Erotica Review: Warlord by Jaid Black

Warlord

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In the year 1052…

Euan Donald rules the Highlands with an iron fist. When a rival clan chieftain fails to deliver his betrothed to him, Euan decides to take matters into his own hands and acquire a bride the old fashioned way—he’ll go steal one.

Present day…

Janet Duval is in Scotland on business. One minute she’s leaving the local pub after having dinner and drinks with a friend, and the next she finds herself being chased—1000 years in the past—by a heavily muscled, grim-faced warrior hell-bent on possessing her.

Written erotica has been around for ages. I remember reading a couple of my father’s eroticas while in middle school (or younger!). During those days, erotica (at least, what I saw) was written and marketed primarily to men.

[Quite] some time later (about 1999), Tina Engler (Jaid Black) started writing and trying to sell erotica. Being constantly rebuffed, Engler started her own business to start selling her erotic romance fiction under the pen name Jaid Black. By 2001, Engler’s site was up and running – making Ellora’s Cave one of (if not the) first ebook erotica bookstore.

Erotica has come a long, long way since the opening of Ellora’s Cave and the publishing of Engler’s first novels. The cheesy covers have started to fade away, the language has changed, the plots have become increasingly complicated. Erotica has become…mainstream.
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